What should I do if someone in my friend group is making things uncomfortable, and other people are talking about them behind their back? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make it worse?

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. Friend group stuff can be so hard, especially when you’re trying to be kind but also feeling uncomfortable yourself. I think the first thing to remember is that you don’t have to be best friends with someone to still treat them with respect. It’s okay if you find her a bit overwhelming sometimes. That doesn’t make you a bad person. But it’s also really kind of you to notice that people talking about her behind her back could hurt her feelings. If your friends are saying mean things loudly, you could gently say something like, “I get that people are frustrated, but I don’t think we should talk about her where she might hear.” You don’t have to make it a big dramatic moment. Just a small comment like that can show that you’re not comfortable joining in.  

With the girl herself, stay kind but also have boundaries. You can be friendly without giving all your energy to her. If she’s being too much, it’s okay to step away, change the subject, or spend time with other people for a bit. The dating situation sounds awkward too, especially if it’s making the rest of the group uncomfortable. I don’t think you need to get super involved in their relationship, because that can get messy fast. If you’re closer with one of them, you could talk to her privately and gently say something like, “I don’t want to be mean or make things awkward, but sometimes the relationship stuff in the group makes me feel uncomfortable.” And if anything feels unsafe, too grown-up, or like someone is being pressured, then it’s okay to talk to a trusted adult, like a dean, teacher, school counsellor, older sibling, or parent. That doesn’t mean you’re dobbing anyone in. It just means you care enough to make sure people are okay.

Overall, I don’t think you need to fix the whole friend group by yourself. Just try not to join in with the gossip, be kind where you can, and protect your own peace too. You can care about someone’s feelings while still having boundaries.