What are some tactics to deal with self-harm/urges to do it? I have a history of it and have been struggling with relapsing.
Getting those kinds of thoughts and urges can be really hard and scary, but you don’t have to go through this alone. It is important to remember there are always people to talk to and asking Māmāruru was a courageous step in the right direction.
There is a network of people who you can reach out to and talk to who can support you with these thoughts. At Rangi we are lucky to have two amazing psychologists who are available free of charge to all Rangi ākonga. These two are trained in supporting you through your struggles and are excellent to reach out to for support. Reaching out and asking for help is so important. There are also people available outside of school if you would find this more comfortable. Talking to people you trust can make such a difference, you just have to take the first step and ask for help.
Many people find that urges can be managed well by using distractions, but this can differ from person to person. Some people find that options such as fidgets and talking can be enough to manage urges in an easy and non-harmful way. Other non-harmful replacements such as holding an ice cube or snapping a rubber band on the area you are having urges to harm can be useful if fidgets or talking aren’t suppressing the urge.
It can also be a good idea to take note of potential triggers and recognize what is causing these urges. There are some good apps and online diaries that can be used to record urges and triggers which potentially can help to avoid these situations in the future. Some examples of this kind of websites and apps are I Am Sober, DistrACT, Calm Harm, Cove, MeeToo, and Feeling Good. All of these apps/websites can be used to track urges and triggers, and many also give advice on how to stay clean.
If you are specifically having urges to relapse it can also be useful to try and remember what has been useful in the past. It is possible that these same supports may help again, especially if the urges are coming from similar triggers.
However, these things do not replace professional support from psychologists or psychiatrists. Finding support is an important part of learning to know when to seek for help. If you are having urges to harm yourself, it is necessary to speak out and ask for assistance. Professionals are trained in their respective areas to aid you and guide you through the journey of stopping to self-harm. Remember that you are loved and that there are people around you who care about you.
If you need urgent assistance for your crisis there are free helplines such as
Youth line: 0800 37 66 33
What's up: 0800 942 8787
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757