What do you do when you hate yourself so much you don’t eat for days at a time?
Hey, thank you so much for reaching out and sharing how you’re feeling - that takes a lot of courage, and we’re really glad you did 💛💙 We’re here for you and want to support you as best as we can.
Before anything else, we just want to say that what you’re going through sounds really tough, and it’s something you deserve proper support with. There’s only so much we can do over messages, but we’re lucky to have some really kind school psychologists and nurses who would genuinely want to help you through this. If talking in person feels like too much, there are also some great services you can access anytime, like 1737 (free call or text to talk to a trained counsellor) or Lifeline (0800 543 354).
We also want to remind you that you don’t need to be “perfect” to be loved. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are people in your life who care about you just as you are, even if they don’t always say it. Feeling this level of self-hate is really hard to deal with on your own, which is why reaching out like you have is such a strong first step.
What you’re going through doesn’t define who you are as a person. The fact that you were able to recognise you need support and speak up about it shows strength, even if you don’t feel strong right now. Healing takes time, and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, but small, consistent steps can really help over time.
It’s also important to talk about your physical health. Not eating for several days can be really hard on your body, and you deserve to feel safe and supported both mentally and physically. Going straight back to eating normally can feel overwhelming, so starting with small, “safe” foods and slowly increasing what you’re eating can make it more manageable. Even something small like a snack or a drink is a really good first step. Ideally, this process should be supported by a health professional (like a GP, nurse, or dietitian) so you can do this safely - if you’re not sure where to start, the school nurses or psychologists can help guide you.
Feeling loved also starts with how you treat yourself. You deserve care, especially from yourself. That might look like trying to speak to yourself a bit more kindly, doing small things that help you feel calm, or spending time with people who make you feel safe and valued. Being around supportive friends and family can remind you that you’re not alone and that you matter.
Just remember, you don’t have to make yourself smaller, be “perfect,” or punish yourself to be worthy of love - you already are. It might take time, and it might feel hard before it feels easier, but things can get better, and you don’t have to go through it alone. We’re really glad you reached out.