I think my friend group is falling apart and I don't know what to do….

Hey, thank you so much for opening up - that honestly takes a lot of courage. 💛

It sounds like you’ve been feeling pretty worried and sad, maybe even stressed or confused - like the people you used to feel closest to are drifting away. That can be such a heavy thing to go through, and it’s completely okay to feel that way. Lots of people experience friendship changes, especially during high school, because everyone’s growing and figuring out who they are. It’s really tough, but it’s also something most of us go through at some point.

If you’d like to try reconnecting with your friends, it could help to talk to them openly about how you’re feeling. Sometimes people don’t realise how their actions are affecting others, and having an honest chat can really help everyone understand each other better. I know it can feel scary, but face-to-face conversations often make a big difference. Or if that feels too full-on right now, maybe you could plan something chill and fun to bring everyone together again.

Before you do that though, take a moment for yourself. Ask: Is this group still good for me? Do I feel supported and happy around them? Your wellbeing and peace of mind are the most important things. If everyone’s keen to work things out and you all put in the effort, that’s awesome - just keep being the kind, caring friend you already are. But if you notice you’re the only one trying, and it feels one-sided, it’s okay to step back a bit and give your energy to people who really value and care for you. You deserve that.

And please be gentle with yourself through it all. Try not to let this change make you doubt who you are - because you’re so much more than what’s happening in your friendships. There will be new people who love you for exactly who you are, and those connections will come when the time’s right.

If you start to feel really down or alone, please reach out - whether it’s to someone you trust or a school counsellor. You don’t have to go through this by yourself, and asking for help is always okay.

You’ve got such a beautiful heart, and you deserve friendships that feel safe, real, and full of aroha. 💗

Aroha nui,
Māmā Ruru 🦉