How do you deal with friends who make you feel stupid or embarrassed whenever you speak?

That’s a really good question. It can be really difficult when you feel like your friends aren’t supporting you or don’t have your back, especially when you really care about those friendships.

Sometimes friendships go through difficult periods, and that doesn’t necessarily mean the friendship has to end. It might be worth talking privately to someone in your friend group who you trust and feel comfortable with, and explaining honestly how you’ve been feeling.

When you have that conversation, try to use “I” statements, such as “I’ve been feeling a bit left out” or “I don’t feel comfortable when this happens.” This can help your friend understand your perspective without making them feel like they are being blamed. It’s also important to avoid gossiping about other people in your friend group, as this can create more drama and make the situation harder. Give your friends the opportunity to listen and understand how their actions have made you feel.

It might also help to think about how you feel after spending time with your friends. Do you usually feel supported, included and happy, or do you often leave feeling upset, left out or like you have to change who you are? You deserve friendships where you feel respected, valued and comfortable being yourself. You are a smart and unique person, and the way other people treat you doesn’t determine your worth.

You also don’t have to suddenly decide that you need a completely new group of friends. Sometimes, simply spending a little more time with other people can help you realise who makes you feel comfortable and valued. You could try talking to someone new in your class or getting involved in activities where you can meet people with similar interests. Whether that’s sport, performing arts, music or another activity you enjoy, putting yourself in spaces where you feel comfortable can help you build genuine friendships. You don’t need to find a whole new friend group straight away - even finding one person you really connect with can make a big difference.

If the situation continues to make you unhappy, or you feel like you don’t know what to do, it’s completely okay to talk to a trusted adult, teacher, dean or psychologist. You don’t have to handle everything on your own. It can be hard to accept that you might need to step back from certain friendships, but you don’t have to make that decision all at once. Take things one step at a time and think about what makes you feel happy, comfortable and supported. Most importantly, choose the friendships that allow you to be yourself and remind you of how valued you are.